A few days ago, my friend Patrick Timmermans contacted me and asked me if I could help a tantra teacher called Sasha Cobra Tantra get connected in Norway. It turns out that Sasha works specifically with men and on the front of Sasha’s webpage, I read the words “resurrecting men as initiators, protectors and warriors of truth”. I was immediately drawn to that because it’s so closely aligned with my own personal process right now and the process I see that we need so desperately as a culture.
I put the words in context, through my own personal journey, with the image that Robert Bly paints of the boy who has to steal the key to the Wild Man’s cage from under his mother’s pillow in the fairy tale Iron John. That metaphor from the fairy tales has taken on new relevance for me personally lately. I thought I had stolen all of that key, but it appears I have not. That’s becoming painfully clear now. And while I think that a man ultimately needs another man for true initiation (a woman cannot teach us to steal the key from under our mother’s pillow), I’m very curious to learn more about her ideas.
Sasha and I exchanged some words on Facebook and it turned out she was here in Oslo for some kind of self help conference for guys. I was surprised to hear that because I thought I was fairly well connected in the networks where information of events like this is spread. The conference was called the Morten Hake summit 2010 at which I went “Huh?” But when the opportunity to experience a conference in a community which to me is unknown where men (and indeed women) go to better themselves, I simply had to go check it out.
I ended up at a seminar hosted by the 23-year old Morten Hake. That he has the balls to pull together something like this at such an early age is very impressive indeed. He is way ahead of where I was at that age. And in hosting a seminar this size, he is way ahead of me at my current age in the seminar production arena. He is a brave young man this Morten Hake. Ambitious too and with a vision, as I understood it, of restoring healthy relations between men and women in our society. I can’t argue with him on that one – it’s important work and I’m just thrilled that such a young guy decides to take charge, power up his King archetype and gather momentum in this socio-cultural transition into an era where we can thrive as man and woman in a world gone beyond gender wars and pettiness.
It was real interesting to me to see how young the audience was. Most of the guys were 20-somethings. There were some women/girls in attendance as well, but by and large this was an event for guys. I realize now that the subculture/community I just had a brief encounter with is a totally different group of people to the circles I normally move in and that getting good with women is the one thing that can get these young guys to gather in the spirit of self-improvement. I was really glad I was there to have that experience. And to boot, I found all the presenters to be sympathetic and thoughtful individuals, though I did sense a little bit of posturing with a couple of them (we all have our insecurities, it makes us human). There were some truly evolved dudes there too though, from which I had much to learn. In conversations with many of them, I discovered they were genuine guys who wanted to better themselves. And also in conversations with audience members, several of my preconceptions of what I would have previousy labelled the PUA subculture were dispelled.
Turns out you can’t really call it that anymore though. At least not this seminar. This was not so much about pickup as it was about success in life as a whole. And dare I say it, at least with some of the guys, about spirituality and love. That resonates really strongly with me. And I must admit it was fun to meet some of the guys whose names I keep seeing on newsletters that arrive in my inbox: Scott McKay, Orlando Owen, Rob Brinded and Alex May to name but a few. I also met some good guys from the Norwegian dating and relationship coaching community. Gathered around a table with all these guys who were working enthusiastically on self-improvement at the end of the night was something I thoroughly enjoyed. Everyone who wants to better themselves and become a force of service in the world is a friend of mine.
So all in all, this day widened my horizon considerably. I was heartened to see all the men who wanted to better themselves and feel hopeful that this community can produce some genuinely positive results in the time to come. I will definitely keep an eye on them. Who knows, maybe I’ll even study with one of these guys eventually. They have a lot of expertise in their respective fields and some if it – if not most of it – is really good stuff. Stuff I should learn.