I’ve had a curious experience as I’ve been working on developing the man inside over the last several years: Many of the stereotypes about men that I never felt applied to me are becoming increasingly true. It’s as if the “modern man” in me is stepping into the background and a more traditional man is coming to the fore. Although I understand very clearly that this man is actually not a regression to the 50s man, but a maturation of the modern man (you know – that soft, sensitive guy who rides a bike to save the environment and drinks caffe lattes). Transcend and include.
Such as – I’m increasingly interested in exchanging only few words with someone else. I do like deep conversation, but my pull towards silence is increasing. The emotional drama of women can sometimes just be too much and I find myself having to draw a boundary, when earlier I would’ve enjoyed “joining in”. Some humor that I once enjoyed has become irritating, simply because of the immaturity involved. I’m also becoming more singular in my focus on what I want to achieve with my life. And out of the blue some months ago, I realized that my lack of a driver’s license is a huge drawback to me, almost an outrage.
So while I work on this webpage, many of the things more traditional guys take for granted are things I find myself drawn to learning – one by one. It’s a strange process. But the man inside demands it. It’s a matter of integrity. The man inside wants to be free to pursue his calling and the “modern man” inside has been too much of a pansy to bother laying the groundwork for him. But now he’s stepping aside, leaving the real job to someone capable.
Being along for this ride is all rather odd…