Background
Some of you may have noticed that this website was down for several days. Funny how much damage a lapse in my presence can make. I have a lot of things to juggle in life right now and as I was travelling to the US to finish a leadership training, an expiring domain name and the subsequent domain transfer woes were the last thing on my mind.
The result was a website that was down for several days. As I logged on and looked at that blank screen, I came to realize that I’m more attached to this website than I had realized.
I was a bit surprised. I mean, I have hardly written here for almost a year. But I love this website. I love what I’ve done with it. I love the conversations I’ve had with you here. I love that other men have found value in this and contributed their own reviews. I love the places it’s taken me. I love the fact that, lying on my death bed many years from now, I will count it among my life’s significant achievements.
You know, I started up back in 2009 because I was basically lost. I was unmentored and afraid. Strangely, slowly finding my way through my own confusion – a process that is ongoing to this day – somehow turned me into an authority on the subject. As far as I know, I’m the leader of this little niche online. Nobody in the world that I know has explored this theme like I have. Thinking about that, I feel a little proud.
Sitting here now, I’m a little scared, but mostly detached about what has happened: In the downtime, Masculinity-Movies.com just disappeared from my Google results. When I search for it now, I can’t find it. I used to be the number 1 result. Now I’m gone. I don’t like that. I don’t like that one bit.
Now, I hope Google have routines that will restore the site to its rightful place pretty quickly, but I’m not gonna sit idly by and hope for the best.
There’s a lot at stake for me now. And instead of feeling broken by the possibility of having many years of web presence wiped out by a few days of distraction, I want to up the game. Strangely, I feel inspired by all of it. I like the sense of detachment I have from the potential drama of it.
So here’s what I’m thinking…
There’s an idea out there, pioneered by Kevin Kelly, that having 1000 true fans is enough to ensure someone’s livelihood. Now, I don’t know if you consider yourself a true fan of my work, but it would be nice if you did.
I’ve spent hundreds of hours working on this site. I may have crossed into the thousands. I have no idea. In all that time, I’ve made maybe about $3000-4000 from it. That’s well below minimum wage.
As I find myself in this uncertainty of being self-employed and having to find sources of revenue, I’m exploring ways of generating money from my work. Some products come to mind.
But here’s the god-honest truth: I’ve always been really afraid of selling to you. I’ve been afraid of being a pest that wants to push things down your throat.
I default to thinking that you will be annoyed and forget that my value system is such that whenever I market something to you, It’s because I truly believe it would help you. So, I have a fear of rejection pattern still running here. But really, it’s time to move on from that. I’m ready to have you dislike me. Fair? Good!
I ask you for your help with two things:
- Reaching more people
- Monetizing my work
For now, point #1 is what I will address. I want to reach those 1000 true fans. And I want to get there by Christmas. It’s an ambitious goal, reflecting my new commitment to this site. Let me talk a bit about that before I end…
Uncompromisingly looking for quality
I feel committed, but I don’t have a clear direction yet. To tell you the truth, I’m not sure if I will write lots of reviews. I consistently find myself frustrated when movies I am trying to review don’t provide the gold. Like with Falling Down, the review that’s been a thorn in my side. Now, don’t get me wrong – it’s a good movie and I like it. But when I go digging, I find myself starting to question the depth of the movie makers. I’m wading through simplistic story-telling and shallow observations on the human condition. It’s an intelligent movie, but only to the level I expect anyone to be able to go. It’s riddled with caricatures! No depth! And then I forget the laughs and thrills I had watching and start questioning the level of consciousness that went into the movie. It looked like a brilliant story to analyze! But no. I fail to see it now.
I’m becoming pickier. More uncompromising. Most movie-makers are too shallow for my taste. Writing about Falling Down is like writing about half a dozen movies I’ve already written about. Man being attached to his mum, trying to keep the facade by repressing his emotions, shit hitting the fan bla bla. Though I have found one piece of gold in it, thankfully (watch this space).
So you see, not every movie is as good as American Beauty. Sad, huh? Not that I don’t enjoy a shallow movie every once in a while. But writing about it? No, show me the fucking money – give me the juice! At least try! Don’t ask me to go dumb so that you can feed me your predigested shit. Don’t assume I’m stupid so that you can have blockbuster potential. Please! (well done, Man of Steel – great movie, great blockbuster. Loved it)
So, you see, I’m starting to own how demanding I am. And I like that about me! I don’t settle for crap. And if I can’t find the goods in movies, then I will explore it elsewhere. Though in the presence of you all. Cause I want to connect with you. Get to know you. Go deeper together.
Sound good? Then like me on Facebook now!
Will you help me? Will you join me on this journey? Will you help me reach 1000 likes on Facebook by December 31? I hope so. There may be some surprises and prizes on the way there too 
Cheers, my friend. I appreciate your help, friendship and interest. Let’s rock the boat together.
Warmly,
Eivind